Faith
“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
I told my wife what was spoken to me days ago,
but as I am getting ready to go to work today there is
something different,
when I look in the mirror,
I notice that curiosity has created a tumor,
right on the inside of my cranium,
when I put on the same scrubs that have been my source of income for the past several years...
I begin to ponder more about this crazy man’s words,
Hope.......
When I kiss my wife and kids goodbye...
I ask....
almost willingly yet unwillingly
would they like to have lunch with me today,
my little daughter happy to spend anytime with her dear ole dad,
says a quick joyful yes,
while my son, trying to keep his sense of being cool,
says He’ll go if everyone else goes,
my wife....
who is surprised at the offer,
accepts to bring the kids, since the summer,
has only been a cage for her...
being stuck with the kids all day....
11:45.....
I do not tell my boss I have been talking with the man from the East,
secretly visiting his cell....
not secretly... playing chess with him....
but weeks have gone by,
since we began this seemly illicit intimate wisdom relationship...
I thought I was the only one,
but he has planted seeds of curiosity in Jim, and Jacob
even Tracy....
I am excited that since he has been on good behavior, he is allowed to eat with more than one
person...
So today there is a table set for him and the ones curious about what has to say...
I wanted to invite my family so I would not be the only addict to his sane insanity...
12:15......
He is brought out, this time laughing and joking with people that escort him to the table,
at the table are eleven other people,
including me....
waiting... for him...
I can see our boss give us a dirty look,
but when the food is served
everyone’s eyes are fixed on the man ,
everyone quiet, scared to ask him a question...
yet excited to have their questions answered...
He prays again before he eats,
saying the same prayer...
consisting not of wanting to be free from this Asylum,
not for justice to be served to those who have dealt him a bad hand,
but to enjoy his stay here....
My Daughter with less fear than us all asks,
“Sir why is your hair white?”
He responds.
“Time came to visit me and has not left, what is your name young lady?”
“Katie.”
“Well, it is nice to meet you madam. It seems that you are more fearless than the rest, have you any more questions?”
She shakes her head and says “No sir”
He then looks at Nancy
and says
“It seems I sense some doubt in you madam, why have you sat at the table if you do not believe,
in what people have found curious?”
She responds “I just do not understand how anyone can have faith....in a crazy man.....”
He strokes his beard...
and nods his head....
“Faith in a crazy man ... huh? What is faith to you?”
“...Well believing in something that sometimes does not make sense ALL... The time. But you
don't make sense any of the time”
We flabbergasted at her assertive assertion of claiming him to be sanity’s quack,
and counting his words to be whack....
He smiles...
then responds...
“See my friend your faith has been infected by doubt, causing you to use those 5 senses,
it’s funny faith requires nothing but a mature form of Hope,
and when hope is impregnated with trust,
it gives birth to faith....
Faith...
Is a thing most everyone has.....
See you have faith that the sun will not become cool....
The Atheist has faith,
faith that a strange sequence of coincidences of nature and human insight,
will not lead them down the path of thinking outside the brain given to them....
You even have faith....
Faith brings you to this table,
hoping that my words will contradict themselves,
and funny thing is....
You may very well find what you are looking for,
because as your mind closes to tunnel vision,
you miss Wisdom’s attempt at heart’s circumcision....
Don't get it twisted....
Faith is not something you can polish and clean,
to show off to others,
you have just enough to get by...
So be weary...if you claim to have a lot,
the mountain is steep for those with big axes,
and normally those that have a large portion,
do not flex
for show,
but merely to protect those who have not yet grown their own....
Faith is like a carpenter and gardener in one......
Upon looking at a small tree....
He feeds it....
Waters it...
Dreaming of the giant tree it can become,
seeing the finished carved-out product,
Faith takes you in as a small tree,
pruning you periodically,
allowing growth,
then as you grow to become larger yet more stout,
he chops you down with the axe of humility,
not to kill,
to shape you,
then when in his workshop,
he uses the chisel of his will
and the hammer of his love
his work is never done....
For he must sand you down so that he can caress the smooth grooves of your Hope and,
Love....
Faith my dear friends... carries its own swag,
putting guilt and shame in a bag,
only to let them rot...
and soon dissipate
Faith… Calls your humanhood out,
asking are you (man or woman) enough to copy and paste hopes into real life,
Do not get misconstrued
Faith will test the limits of your sanity,
It will take you to wit’s end....
Then when you look past wit’s end....
Faith will drag you past it,
and as you kick and scream to remain sane in the membrane,
you start to enjoy the fall from the world’s perception,
of right mind’s conception......
Faith,
will have you boast one day,
and search for self image the next....
Faith will....
Take you through the valley of the shadow of death,
then when it gives you a brief self-pride break,
it tosses you in the dungeon of Alonism,
because ridicule and scorn remind you daily that,
your faith
is your faith,
and the world,
has become a graveyard for what ancients were commended for.....
I once was asked,
what is the difference between a Holy man and a regular man,
I answered,
a regular man seeks to treat his faith like a pet,
calling it only when it seems necessary,
he only pets his faith as though it is a secondary form of life
But a Holy man, befriends his faith
so that when he calls it,
it is as though two lovers are calling one another
caressing one another.”
After he finishes his main course,
he asks for dessert,
and calls another patient to the table,
Then my son asks
“Then why are you here, you do not seem crazy to me....”
Some of the people at the table look at him like he was out of place,
then with a jovial deep laugh,
the crazy man responds
“I have wondered for sometime now, but I have recently come to the conclusion,
the carpenter does not keep his creations for himself,
because in order to know if they are good carvings they must be tested,
so they are given to an old friend,
one who does not treat the creations them same way,
and he doesn't know how to use them,
Often times the old friend burns the carvings, frustrated that they will not suit his purpose,
but when the old friend burns the carvings,
he creates ashes,
which only makes the soil rich for more trees, to grow,
and more trees means more, carvings.....
I am here because I have been handed over to the old friend,
and as I speak I am being burnt,
fertilizing the soil upon which more trees can grow,
But young man.... I can tell you are still wondering why the world has moved me from the East
to the west.”
My son nods and the crazy man winks to begin
“Well when you spend time with faith, it changes you and your appearance, lady wisdom’s sister
Conviction visits you,
and though you may not understand why she disciplines you so,
you listen because,
at first she may seem to be a school teacher,
she will become a loving grandmother,
when Conviction told me to tell my son,
that faith is calling down the moon,
at high noon,
when the moon is furthest away.”
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